Our Story: The Condensed Version
Jackson and I met in August of 2018, my freshman and his sophomore year of college. We were at an event put on by a campus ministry, and Jackson was trying to catch a piece of ice in his mouth. When he did, he leaned back and accidentally threw his elbow into my face.
We started dating in September of 2020. I guess it took me a little while to get over the getting punched in the face thing. Then, on June 11, 2022, we got engaged and became fiancés! Just four short months later, on October 8, 2022, we got MARRIED!
Our wedding was on a Saturday. It was a Saturday that the Tennessee Vols played football, so of course that was on the TV during the day (and yes they did win). It was sunny and 68 degrees with the most wonderful little breeze. There were 8 guests, plus our officiant and photographer. No hair or makeup person. No larger reception. Just our parents and our siblings.
We got married at an airbnb. We chose this because it served both as everyone’s accommodations for the weekend and our venue. The property was on a big piece of land with a creek, which served as a perfect setting for our ceremony.
It was intentional, simple, and intimate.
The First Thing to Decide When You Get Engaged: A Shared Vision!
If you have been engaged or been closely involved in a family member or friend’s wedding, then you know the conversations that start as SOON as the question has been popped. When do you want to get married? Where will you get married? How many people will you invite? And so many more.
The night we got engaged, the only people that knew were our parents. I believe we called our siblings and told them that night as well, but we did not share our exciting news with the rest of the world yet. It was such a sweet moment in time - to be engaged and able to dream about our wedding and marriage without feeling pressure from others yet of what it was “supposed” to look like.
And I remember the main conversation we had was centered around this main question: What do WE want our wedding to look like?
Now, let me pause for one minute. If you know Jackson, then you know traditional is not necessarily a word that describes him. Jackson is curious and loves to question things, and the common practices at weddings were no exception. This is something I truly love about him because he pushes me to dream beyond limits I would have never even considered getting close to.
So that night, just the two of us, we began to craft our shared vision for our wedding. It was small. It was sooner than people might have expected. It was simple. More than anything, it was us.
Pros and Cons of a Small Wedding
Our shared vision was a small wedding. However, just because it was that way for us does not mean it is for everyone. As a bride who had a very small wedding, I wanted to share my pros and cons. This list is composed of my own personal opinions and preferences. A pro for me might be a con for you! So as always, take what resonates with you, and leave the rest.
Without further adieu, here are my small wedding pros & cons!
Pros
We could get married sooner! If you want or need to have a shorter engagement, having a small wedding makes that a lot easier!
We could have our close family and friends present. Having a small wedding ensures that the people closest to you will be there!
We had less to plan! This was a pro for me, but I can see how it might be a con for some people if they love the wedding planning process! I was in the middle of graduating, student teaching, and looking for a job - so less to plan was helpful!
We had less pressure on wedding day - no performing. If you have gotten married or ever been in a wedding, then you know it feels a little bit like you are putting on a show. If the idea of walking down the aisle in front of a hundred people makes you nervous, this might be a pro for you too!
We were able to focus on preparing for our MARRIAGE. Because we did not have as many appointments or things to plan, I feel we were both able to spend more time investing in our future marriage through counseling, books, conversations, and prayer.
We had more flexibility leading up to the wedding. For example, I had originally planned on having the ceremony at five. However, a week or two before the wedding, I decided to move the wedding up to one. Because there was only a handful of us, and we were all already planning to be there for the weekend, the time change was not an issue! With a small wedding, it is easier to make changes closer to the date.
We were able to save money. I put this last because I do not think you should necessarily have a small wedding just to save money. However, I do think it should be a point you consider in your decision making process. We loved our wedding, AND we did not have to spend an arm and a leg. Win-win!
Cons
I had to let go of some of the wedding expectations I had. When I think about it, this might be a con of all weddings. Likely, when you are actually getting married, you will want different things for your wedding then when you were six or sixteen. Our wedding was everything I could have asked for and more, but I did have to let go of certain ideas in order to grasp new ones.
We had to cut our guest list. Ultimately, we decided all the pros outweighed this con; however, this is the main thing to consider when deciding on a small wedding. Are all the pros worth not having everyone you want to invite present?
We had some family and friends upset they were not invited. However, this often happens no matter what size your guest list.
And that is my list!
Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment if you have any questions or if there is anything you want to know more about! Talk to you soon.
Take care,
Caroline